I laughed as I acknowledged the applause, and the minister hugged me, saying she didn't need to give a sermon that day, that I had shown what calling for help, and acting with grace and poise were all about. And I answered that that morning my girlfriend had sent me an Easter/birthday email and written "She hath risen" and I guess I had. Everyone laughed again.

Later, having a birthday lunch with my husband and friends, I thought about years ago, when I would have berated myself inside my head so hatefully: "I'm so angry at that pianist for messing up this beautiful music. I'm so upset that everyone thinks I messed up when it was really her. I need to go tell everyone that it was her fault, not mine. I ruined the service, I ruined my birthday, I'm going to feel bad all day, maybe all week. I'm a terrible flutist. I'm depressed. I hate myself. No one will really like me anymore or want to hear me play again." And on and on and on……

But I felt not a whiff of that yesterday. I felt great. I felt safe. I've played in that church for 16 years, was music director for 11, and something like this has never happened to me there, or in any other performing situation. I thought the whole thing was hilarious!!! I laughed and laughed and felt wonderful! I felt I acted like a true professional, and I didn't care that a mistake had happened, because I rose above it, and turned it into something wonderful, and I allowed myself to feel my humanity. Wow, have I ever come a long way. I may not have been resurrected, but I felt liberated.

How I wish my students had been there!!!!! I'd rather that they had witnessed this than all my so-called perfect performances. I wish my students saw and heard all the people who complimented me on my music - those who said they loved my music with no comment on the blooper at all, who were so sincere in their praise who just didn't care about the mistake. And those who did comment on the mess-up – positively! I wish my students were there to hear the absolute lack of even one person who said anything negative about the mistake. I wish they'd learn that when I compliment them on their recital performance, and they say, "oh, but I messed up and played a Bb instead of a B natural," how they're not perceiving the true nature of their performance.